Deb Haaland
All-Star Fantasy Secretary of the Interior
Deb Haaland is uniquely qualified to serve as Secretary of the Interior due to her deep commitment to environmental protection, tribal sovereignty, and public land management. As a member of the Laguna Pueblo and one of the first Native American women elected to Congress, she has firsthand experience advocating for Indigenous rights and sustainable land use. Her leadership has focused on restoring conservation efforts, protecting national parks, and addressing climate change through responsible stewardship of federal lands.
As Secretary, Haaland has prioritized environmental justice, ensuring that public lands are preserved for future generations while balancing sustainable energy development. Her efforts include reversing policies that threatened biodiversity and increasing protections for sacred Indigenous sites. She has also worked to strengthen the Department’s role in addressing climate resilience and advancing clean energy projects on federal lands. Haaland’s deep understanding of land management and Indigenous affairs makes her a transformative leader in this critical role.
Doug Burgum, Current Secretary of the Interior
Now Playing: Indiana Burgum and the Raiders of the Lost National Park
In this thrilling sequel, multi-millionaire Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum navigates the treacherous terrain of protected lands, dodging environmental regulations and climate scientists to unearth sacred fossil fuels.
Can he frack the Grand Canyon before sunrise?
Spoiler: Yes — because Congress has a serious addiction to campaign contributions from oil companies.
His motto:
“Let tribal voices echo across wide open plains… just make sure the drilling drowns them out.”